So what do you get when you take two seventeen-year old Russian girls that make techno music and introduce them to the American market (oh, and they like to kiss each other on stage)? What do you get!? My attention, that’s what you get. TaTu is the name of the band and the video for the single “all the thing she said” is a true piece of ass…uh… I mean art. In the video the two girls (one a with long red hair and the other with short black hair) are on one side of a chain link fence singing (and kissing) in the wet, wet rain, wearing schoolgirl uniforms. With a small crowd of people watching them from the other side of the fence. WOW! What else can I say but wow? Too all the other sick guys out there you will not like the music, but you will like the girls. To all the offended ladies out there you will like the music and hate us guys.
Wednesday, February 26, 2003 DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMIN' OUTTA MY MOUTH!?
The conversations at lunch and at post work gatherings with co-workers are¡K how do you say in American, juvenile and crass? I have attempted to keep up with the funnier bits so as to share with the world. The following are little bits of conversations from many different parties. I will not name names so that I may protect the indecent.
- We should come up with a plan if we get highjacked on a plane. You know like I'll get down on all fours behind the terrorist and you can push them over me.
- You two need to get tested (for sexual diseases) and you need to be nicer to the wait staff
- From now on, anytime to talk will you site your sources
- I saw boobies... and didn't pay for it
- I never would have thought that she is your wife's type
- I hear heroin sex is really great. At least that is what the movies tell me.
- I think I have mono.
No, it's the clap.
- My brother wants to have sex with a midget, because it would make a good story.
- Mark wins! He's the asshole for this lunch.
- You should chew 20 pieces of Nicoret and chain smoke during sex.
- See I think that if you say Heathers is the better movie the you are pessimist but if you say Pump Up the Volume is the better movie then you are an optimist.
What about Kuffs or Gleaming the Cube?
Monday, February 24, 2003
Dr. G make a suggestion
More names
- I'm a Mohican, Damnit!
- The Red-Headed Stepchild
- Fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck
- The Phil Plimpton Fan Club
- Dutch Oven
- Blah, Blah, Blah, Nobody Reads This Crap Anyways
I journeyed down south to Rockhill, South Carolina, to see Robin play last night. The band has a rockabilly-punkish sound. I like the music but I could not understand the vocals. Robin said not to worry because the vocals are not deep. He plays bass in this band but I don’t think his heart is in it. Well I am quite sure his heart is not in it. He seems to want to do more with music. He and the drummer of the Swaggarts; Melvin, have a good chemistry, and like a more complex style of music. I think that next week when the Swaggarts tour Georgia, Robin and Melvin should open for “their” band. I say “their” with quote because it is really Dan’s band (the lead singer). I will post location and dates as soon as I know them.
So Mista Jazz and decide to stop for a beer or three at one of our local haunts. We get inside and I see great opening at the bar, so I side into the space and start trying to get the bartenders attentions. It is taking longer than I normally have to wait so I start to wonder why this space at the bar was so open. (FLASHBACK) I remember a time I was out with some friends and someone got sick right next to the bar. I don’t know who it was but they were right next to one of my friends, when it happened. It took the staff in the place a few minutes to notice and then even longer to act. (BACK TO LAST NIGHT) I look down thinking the worst, but it was all clear. I sigh, and go back to trying to get the attention of one of the bartenders.
Wednesday, February 12, 2003 My Achilles hair or It hurts me more than it hurts you…. no really
A co-worker brought in an article from the March 2003 issue of Prevention magazine, titled Redheads Feel More Pain. The meat of the article is that “the hormone that tells cells to produce the skin-and hair-color pigment melanin, don’t function normally in redheads. As a result, most redheads end up getting sunburned instead of tanned. The dysfunction might in directly stimulate a brain receptor that boosts pain sensitivity”. If this is true it could support my theory about and give reason for, the short tempers of redheads. I don’t believe that my brother or I could give you an accurate count of the number of times I lost my temper, turned beet red and came at him, and kept coming till he got tired of my shit and pinned me down till I cooled off. Sometimes it was pain, caused by him that started the fire with in my belly. Sometimes he just beat me at a video game.
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
The name changed but the blog remains
I settled on dutch 69 because it is the lead in my URL, and I thought that would make it easy to remember. The following are what Doobie Ed suggested.
10) New Domino's Dots
9) A young man with a heart of gold that as been
known to get angry on occasion but always for good
reason and never ever acts out his anger but discusses
it with friends and family.
8) David Letterman's smile, Zsa Zsa's wit.
7) One corndog shy of a bigger belt
6) What would jesus read?
5) 10-4, good buddy
4) The new lizard king
3) Enlarge your penis today!
2) Available for children's party's
1) What the fuck are you looking at, dick nose?
Monday, February 10, 2003
A 72 year old lady paying $20 in over dues and $15 for a lost book with a check.
Me: May I see your driver’s license?
Old Lady: Why do you need to see that, it’s all on the check?
Me: Yes I know, it’s just a formality. (She gives it to me) Thank you.
Me: Is the phone number on the check correct?
Old lady: Don’t ask me anymore questions. (I look at her confused) I am really mad about paying for these books and I ……I could just punch somebody! So you don’t ask me anymore question or it could be you.
(I had been hunched over the counter so I stand up straight and look down at the old lady trying not to smile or laugh. Still a little confused, I finish the paper work then give her, her copies of the paper work.)
Me: Have a nice day.
Sunday, February 09, 2003
I would have stayed longer but I wanted to get a drink before my AA meeting
Friday night, dinner at Outback Steak House with the Boomerangs (Jan aka Jonny and Elizabeth) followed by a stop at blockbuster video to rent K-19 and Panic Room. We watched K-19 then called it a night. Saturday we saw the house they are in the process of buying and picked out swatches. Those are cards with paint colors on them, not the watches. We hit the mall for food and then walked around, but could find anything worth buying. After that we loafed at their house for a while and debated our next adventure. Driving range it is!!! I suck at golf. No I’m not being modest I really suck. Jan wacked the hell out of quite a few, and I watch Elizabeth for only a few swings. She is much better then me. I can’t even say I hit like a girl. Did I mention that I suck at golf? We hit HT for some breakfast stuffs then home to chill, then back out to dinner at 5 Star, a Chinese food place. We then head home for Panic Room. Between Jan breaking wind and the Shrimp leftover from dinner, we were all glad to get outta that car. I headed back to my home Sunday afternoon.
My friends kept apologizing for not having anything to do. So to them I can only say I came to see you guys, what we do or don’t do is irrelevant. And I had a great time just hangin out.
Friday, February 07, 2003
Simple pleasures are the best
So it’s back to drinks with Mista Jazz, something that I had not done in quite some time. Despite our recent distractions we are still regulars at the Penguin. What makes me say that? That’s a very good question. We were gonna stop drinking; ok Mista Jazz was gonna stop drinking, but one of the guys that works at the Penguin plopped down two drinks at our table and said drink up these two are on the house. Free beer… just think about that for a moment.
Note: I'm goin' to see Boomerang and his lovely wife this weekend.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Oh baby its cold outside….. so I’ll get my coat.
So my adventures back into dating went well enough. What I mean is I didn’t get hurt and I had a lot of fun. I don’t think she got hurt either. But the magic faded and we have parted ways. So all in all I think I might try that again. Next time, I think I will go for someone that is my type, and not as busy as I am.
Hey everybody! Woody, Belly shirt, and Juicyfruit!
2:45am
I awoke because I tried to roll over in my sleep but my middle-of-the-night-wood, made laying on my front uncomfortable. SO I lay on my back and talked him down: “dude not now I need to sleep”. I’ll bet you thought talk him down was code. Nope.
3:50am
I guess I roll over a lot while I sleep. This time I woke up on my back with my shirt twisted up around my chest. SO I sat up and untwisted the shirt and went back to sleep. I think a smarter man would have just taken off the shirt.
Dream
Juicyfruit is having car trouble, Mista Jazz and I try to help her but she politely told us that help was on the way. So I just gave her my jacket for her to use as a pillow while she waited then I woke up. 6:00am
Tuesday, February 04, 2003 I haven’t got time for the pain.
Monday 2-3-03 5:55am
So I wake with pain. The kind of pain that would have made me pass out if it had not been the reason I awoke. My throat has been sore for a week over a week now and the pain is worse now than ever. So after I drop a hit of HALLS, I call in to work to say that I won’t be in and that I am gonna get an appointment with my doctor today. The doctor can see me at 12:00pm. So I drink hot tea and wait for 11:00am to roll around then I leave. It’s the usual scene in the waiting room: a bunch of people pretending to read old magazines and watching the one cute baby play. I study after the baby started to bore me. 45 mins after my 12:00pm appointment they call my name.
It turns out I am not seeing the Doctor but the P.A. (Physician Assistant), she asked me the same old crap that the nurse had just asked me. I guess they don’t trust each other. So she look in my mouth and her eyes get really big.
P.A. That’s not a sore throat, it’s a giant ulcer on the back of your throat, probably from a vitamin deficiency. (See talk for what seemed like a 5 mins, with that thing in my mouth looking like she had never seen anything like that before. She ended with) I have never seen anything like this before.
I got some stuff to gargle with but it will take a week to heal. All the stuff I was using to cure my “sore throat” really just made things worse.
