Tuesday, April 29, 2003 All hail the return of xkingcarpx
Everyone should go to this site. Check it out, you'll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll have bad dreams. That is all.
Friday, April 25, 2003 VEGAS BABY! VEGAAAAAS!
I got my tax check, so now I can pay for summer school. Or blow it all on women and drugs. Okay, okay, no women and drugs. I’ll pay for school then buy my friends a wedding gift (only a month and a half late), make a car payment then what ever is left should buy me a Dixie chick sammich at the Penguin.
Tough Act to Follow
I always take a long time to post, but this time I have not wanted to post because it seems disappointing to go back to the garbage I usually spill after the baby duck story. I have received more comments about that then I really ever thought I would. Both from those of you who need to kill time and read this blog as well as those who were there to watch me jump in a drain. I knew it was a good story, that’s why I posted it, but I never expected it to be a big deal. Anyway, this is just a note to you readers that it’s back to the same old, same old. Until a baby carriage rolls down a hill, out of control, towards four lanes of high speed traffic and… well you get the idea. So back to the stories about me, not having any money.
Chairman Mike and I are standing outside next to the bookdrop at our library. There is a duck that seems stunned or something, in the parking spaces next to the bookdrop and we are both worried that it will get hit by a car as people drive up to drop off books. Mike goes inside to call animal rescue, animal control, and any one else he can think. I leave the duck shortly after that to see what Mike has found out. Nobody would help. Now Mike and Robin and Michele (all co-workers of mine) have all gone back out side. Its about 4:15pm Monday afternoon when all this started and I leave at five to head up to the University for my class. I join Mike and Robin and Michele back outside with the duck because I am not gonna work anymore today. They have figured out that the duck is freankin out because there are 4 baby ducks that have fallen in the drain. Mike and I lift the drain cover and set it aside. We are not sure what we are gonna do but from the looks on my friends faces I can tell that all of us are willing to jump down in there to get the baby ducks. I Am the only one that’s leaving at 5:00pm and I am the only one wearing semi-waterproof boots. So I jump in.
Robin grabs a flashlight out of my car and Michele and Mike make sure the momma duck doesn’t come after me. I crouch down to see the babies. They have run up into a small tunnel at the base of the drain I am in. There are tunnels on both sides of me for them to hide. I’m standing in about 2+ inches of water and the tunnels are about a foot in diameter. I am given the flash light, the ducks are out of reach there is nothing we can do right now. But all those people that Mike had called earlier are now involved and on their way. I guess baby ducks make everyone jump into action. I climb out and wait for the reinforcements. The rest of the Library Rescue Team has gone inside as they are all on the schedule. I wait outside for more help to arrive. I am not going to class tonight.
15 Minutes later a truck with two city employees roles up. We come up with a plan. As soon as all the babies are in one of the two tunnels we will block off the other one with a flattened box then use a shovel to hold the box in place. Then when they are all back out of the non-blocked tunnel and in the open we will block the other tunnel in the same way.
Note: when I am not down in the drain the baby ducks run all over the place. They stay in the open because they can hear their mom. One side blocked now we wait. The babies run in and out of the open tunnel then as last all four are in the open. The other tunnel is blocked. Now while the two city guys keep the tunnels blocked I have to get down in the drain again with out crushing the babies. I have lowered myself as far as I can but I will have to drop about 6 inches. The city guys re watching the duck and they tell me I’m clear. I drop and then just scoop the little ducks up one by one. By the time I am out of the drain the whole family of ducks is walking across the parking lot toward some bushes and a fountain, while one of my other co-workers stops traffic.
Monday, April 21, 2003
Cell-out
So Mike, James and I are at the high-class $1.50 Movie Theater to see The Two Towers. First we waited in line while a group of about 15 (adult and children) argued about what movie they wanted to see. Then we entered the building to be hit with the smell of popcorn and ass. It was not too bad this time. Because the group of 15 took about 10 minutes to get there shit together, the light had already gone out in our theater and we had to hang out in the back for a bit, so our eyes could adjust. We found seats on the 3rd row. Closer then I like but hell, a $1.50. I could kick myself because I had forgot to turn off my cell phone fucking hate it when a cell phone goes off in the theater. Mine did not go off I just remembered about 15 mins into the movie, and then shut it off. Unfortunately there were about 4 other jackasses that had not remembered. Now I can understand the first guy, but what about the others. I know that had I not remembered to turn mine off when I did, as soon as I heard someone else’s going off I would have caught it then. I guess I am just not as important as the 15-year-old kid with the shit pieced in his face. He’s a real mover and a shaker no doubt about it. I’ll bet that the call he got was one of his buddies telling him that the new batch of skull shirts just arrived at HOT TOPIC.
Friday, April 18, 2003
Top Ten Reasons Why Kathleen Won't Blog:
10. I am a shy, retiring, delicate-flower-of-a girl
9. my esoteric ramblings could cause depression or fits of violent rage in
readers
8. my self-absorption is so consuming it prevents me from surfacing even
long enough to share my self-absorption with others
6. singin' and shakin' my shimmy all over Birmingham takes up my free time
that's not already taken up by weeping and biting my pillow
5. I look fat in blog pants
4. too secretive
4a. too paranoid
4b. too likely to lapse into free verse
3. only special people deserve to know all the special thoughts in my head
(please see #8)
2. too likely to lose job due to blogging all day long
1. John Aschcroft and the TIA folks still have me on the "no blog" list
by Kathleen
Monday, April 14, 2003
$
So it figured out that money is the answer to all of life’s problems. I know you think, wait “money is the root of all evil”. Well that is not really true. People who are sane and rich don’t steal. I had to add that sane part or one of you would say what about Winona Ryder? Anyway, money would make things easier for me. And many of the people I know. Having money means having opportunity. That may mean buying a car so you can get to work and bars or buying a house so you can have friends over for drinking and stuff. Mostly drinking. Now I don’t mean billions or millions, just enough to provide for your family and habits. Because midget prostitutes don’t come cheap, or what ever you fancy. I am not saying that I am not willing to work to earn said money. I’m not looking to win the lottery, not that I would mind. I would just like the opportunity to earn more money, to have money for other opportunities. With that said wish me luck, I have an interview tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
The Force is strong with this one
A little boy, about knee high to a grasshopper watched me empty the inside book-drop bins, while his mom was checking out books.
Me: hello sir,
Boy: (just looking at me)
Me: how are you today?
Boy: (just looking at me)
I smile and go back to my work….
Boy: I have a lightsaber!
Me: Of course you do! Are you a Jedi?
Boy: I can do this. (he then makes lightsaber sounds and moves his hands as though he is holding a lightsaber)
Me: Neat!
Boy’s mother: Lets go silly boy
I guessed that she was not talking to me. I guessed right.
Mike gives me directions to his new house and I immediately pull over for gas. This is gonna be a long drive. I get back on the HWY and head south. I start to see many businesses that are unfamiliar to me. Like: the little white building lit up with pink neon and a single hand painted sign which says “VIDEOS”, and is accented with a pair of red lips. This is located next to an ATV (All Terrain Vehicles) dealership. I finally arrive at Mike’s new house and he greets me at my car. We then begin to unload the stuff I have moved for them. Mike gives me a quick tour, and they (Mike & Christine) have a very nice home. Christine grabs a bite while Mike and I unload what little I have left in my car. We then talk about the house and how far away it is/seems. Then as it was 9:05pm and I wanted to get home by midnight, so I decided to leave. I am glad I have a cell phone, so I don’t have to worry about long distance charges when I call Mike and Christine
Monday, April 07, 2003
An evening with the Nation
He let the dogs out (so that answered that big question posed by the Baja Men), then invited me in. We killed some time while the dogs did their stuff outside. Then it was off to Media Play, so Nation could get a CD wallet. 40% off all CD wallets, if you buy a CD, DVD, or Video Game. I tried to help with the decision of which CD wallet to buy, and I think my comment were helpful. However, with the decision of what to buy to get the 40% off, I was more of a problem then a solution. Nation would ask what I thought about this and that and I do the math to see how much he would be spending in total with each item. Then give him my answer in terms of dollar value. “If you get that then you will pay $30. How many time will you watch that?” “ If you get that then you will only pay $22. That’s like buying it for $4. I think that is the best deal.” “I would not get that. Just go rent it.” I think now what Nation really wanted was for me to say yep that’s cool to what ever he showed me. He made his purchase then we went to Boston Market to eat.
So the poor economy has hit dutch 69. Yesterday I downgraded my cable package. I still have the essential Internet hook up, but I have downgraded the channels to just the local networks. Basic that means all the stuff one would get with rabbit ears, I get without having to mess with rabbit ears. I have cut my bill in half and I feel liberated. The bonus is that I still have all the channels I had yesterday and I will have them till they can send someone out to my house to unhook it all. But I am not being charged for it. So I should have free extra cable for a day or two. Now I just need to pay off my sexy car.
