Michaelpella is back in full effect for the month of April, AKA Rap Month. Starting this Friday (4-1-05). Then for each Friday in April you will have the pleasure of a new Michaelpella.
Random things:
I want Jack White to cover Dolly Parton's "Straight Talk"
I told James I wanted to be the Hypotenuse and then pointed to two girls.
I have decided that I am too much of a fat-fuck and I am gonna change that, but starting after my trip to Baltimore to see Big G. There is lots of good food and drink there.
It's starting to get warmer, YEAH! That means cooking on the grill. It's much better that way.
It's spring break for the public schools here, so the teens are trying to take over the Penguin. Damn, those kids have shitty haircuts.
Sunday, March 13, 2005 “I’ll give you a thousand dollars if you” or "bet you won't french that floozies"
10:10pm Saturday night (insert Law & Order sound here). James, Sam, and I are in my living room and about to head out for a few drinks. At the bar Sam bought the first round, then we headed out to the patio area. By the time we were on our second round, a drunken “fabulous” dude started dancing VERY close to us. His girl friend then started shaking her ass in our faces and he called out “she callin you, it’s a booty call”. We had all ignored the guy, but the girl was a different story. She sat on Sam’s lap and then explained that she felt bad for her friend (the guy) because we did not pay attention to his dancing so she thought that she would stick her ass in our faces. I told her it was a major improvement. She leaned over and I tilled my head to give her my ear. She said nothing so I looked at her. Then she said “don’t you want to french kiss me?” I said “yes.” So while she sat on Sam’s lap she kissed me for a second or two and while the fabulous guy talked to James. The following are my thought during those few seconds.
1. she is cute 2. can that other cute girl see this? 3. I am screwing my chances with ever girl here 4. I am really kissing an stranger 5. I hope I don’t catch something 6. I think we are about done, DAMN! 7. ok, that was a new one for me
The girl and the guy left and I turned to James and said “I am no were near ready to call it a night.” The rest of the night was filled with moment in which we had to convince each other that those events really happened. And that was broken up by my offering James a thousand dollars to talk to various girls. One in particular lit her cigarette with one of the torches one the outside patio. After I badgered James for a bit, I walk over to that girl and pointed out the guy trying to turn on a gas heater.
Me: Ok, if that guy lights himself on fire you have to go and light a cigarette of him.
Girl: Did you see me lighting my cig off that torch?
Me: yes and that was the coolest thing I’ve seen tonight
NOTE: I stole this line from James and the coolest thing I’ve seen tonight was really me frenching a strange girl.
Me: The only way your going to top that is lighting a cig off of someone that is on fire.
Girl: Well I have been watching that guy so if he lights himself on fire then I’ll do it.
That guy gives up on trying to turn on the gas heater.
Me: Damn! He quit. I’ll try to get one of my friends to light them selves on fire.
Girl: Ok, cool.
Neither Sam nor James was willing to light them selves on fire so I told the girl that it was not gonna happen tonight.
