Friday, October 31, 2003 Crazy like a Michael J. Fox
These are some of the thoughts I have had in the past 24 hours.
Your gonna stick that camera where? (Seeing the ears nose and throat specialist)
Hey Doc how about a mint after lunch next time. (Seeing the ears nose and throat specialist)
It all looks the same to me. You’re the doctor. (Looking at the inside of my throat on a TV, while the doctor asks me questions)
$399 for an apartment. (Driving)
Oh I can’t live there my car is waaay to sexy. (Driving)
I would rather have pain than all this can’t talk shit. (Random)
To much going on, can’t keep tract of all the freaks. OH GOD, what is up with this guy? (Waiting for prescription at Wal-Mart)
While I am on steroids this week, I should work out a lot. (Random)
Hey, a Chic-fil-a. (Driving)
Why do they always have to give me so much ice? (Leaving Chic-fil-a)
She looks cuu… oh, never mind. (At work)
I’ll be so glad when people can tell that I’m a sir and not a miss. (On the phone at work)
That tiger can smell me, I know it, I know it, I know it, I know it. (Dream that woke me)
Thursday, October 30, 2003 Glass is half full kinda guy
So here is a quick check on the things going on in my life. Crappy things. I got dumped, I have been losing my voice for almost 4 weeks, I don’t know how to do my lab for my JAVA class, I haven’t seen my friends from my old job for 2 weeks, and I still feel like a loner at my new job, because I don’t know as many people here. On the plus side I just saw my doctor, and he gave me a drugs prescription, and a referral to see a “specialist”. I just got the drugs and I’ll see the “specialist” later today. Although I felt shitty last week, the getting dumped thing has pretty much blown over (hello hot chics at school). My Java lab is not due for another 2 weeks. As soon as I have a voice, I’ll be well enough to hang with the old gang. The loner thing, I should also be able to change as soon as I have a voice. Right now I assume that everyone that I see but don’t know must think I am some kind of brooding loner by choice. I mean think about it, I have not had a voice the whole time I have worked here. And tomorrow night (ALL HALLOWS EVE) I’ll get to hang with my brother, Christine, James, Juicefruit, and a few others. Things could be a lot worse.
NOTE: Big G did not kill anyone either. (seen previous post)
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Thursday, October 23, 2003 I have never killed anyone
The other night I had to talk Big G down from a mountain of self-hate. He is not really one of those kinds of people, but if he does something that he does not like he will beat the hell out of himself. This is because he is the good guy. Not so much that he always does the right thing. It’s more that he rarely does the wrong thing. In fact, in this case he had done nothing wrong, he had just convinced himself he had. My question to you (the reader) is; are you a good person? Why or why not? Is it because you are one of the chosen people or is it because can be honest and say things like “I wouldn’t pee on you if you hair was on fire”? Or is it because you don’t believe in a god, or just try to “live right”? What is it that makes you a good person or a bad person? Feel free to answer me in an email or in your blog. If you blog link to me and give a brother a hit.
Yep, those words say it all. This conversation took place last night on the phone. The whole conversation was spoken in a conversational tone. No yelling, no drama, or any other bullshit. I admit that I was not totally surprised but still… well, I’ll just continue.
Me: OK. What’s on your mind?
(Long silent pause)
Me: There is no point in not saying anything. I have assumed the worst, so you might as well just say what’s on you mind.
K: I don’t think this will work….I don’t think that you are someone I could be married to. (for the record, I did not purpose to her, this how she thinks) I don’t see us as being right for each other. I don’t just talk (Kelly code for early stages of dating) to anyone, but I think that we would not make a good marriage. (the rest of this part is kinda redundant)…..
Me: Well I want to say first of all that I respect your decision. I have not called you the past few days because I felt like you needed time to think about things. My only retort is, how can you know that we would not make a good marriage when you never let us just be a couple? I know you don’t have an answer for that, and I know that I don’t have to have an answer. I have a great deal of respect for you and I believe that you have to do what is best for you. I don’t like your decision, but I respect it.
K: I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.
Me: Well I can’t help you figure that out.
K: What do you want me to do?
Me: What do you mean?
K: Is there anything you want me to do?
Me: Let’s get a few things clear. You know how I feel about you and that can’t change in a split second. Because I respect your decision I will not be calling you. With that said, I hope that you don’t erase my number from your phone. You may call me if you want, but don’t call me for that lets hang and have beer stuff. You know how I feel and I will not be just a friend. I deserve better than that.
K: Ok
(Long silent pause)
Me: I hope you have a good night.
K: You too.
Me: Good Bye
K: Bye
Tuesday, October 14, 2003 Lost in my own Funk
This passed weekend I was in a major funk. Not the large afro, porn star mustache kinda funk, but a waste of skin kinda funk. I just did not fit in my own space. I wanted to do something but I didn’t want to do anything. Now it is true that I was feeling a bit under the weather. But being sick does not usually funk me out that much. On the other hand, rainy days and Mondays always get me down. I don’t think I came out of the funk till lunchtime on Monday. I ate my mini cooler full of mixed veggies, down in the depths of the Main library (the area know as the break room). No windows, dim lights, and bland food. Did I mention that this waste of skin was eating solo. So 15 minutes later I finished what I was gonna eat and decide to go for a walk.
Because it has been overcast this past week and I have been in hiding, when I stepped out into the light I must have recoiled like a vampire from the sun. I was blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douse. After I regained myself I walk down to the CHECK-IT OUTLET (a small branch of the library system about 8 blocks south of the Main branch). I have driven down these streets an unknown amount of times. But I had not really walked around down there. I made it to the CHECK-IT OUTLET, high on dirty city air and damaging UV rays. Here I found myself in a pool of nerdy-ness. Comic books barely touched by the public. I found the latest issues of the Comics I read, and several back issues I have never seen. With a fist full of nerd, I walked back to Main. Invigorated by my trip, I had a wonderful after noon. Yea me!
Monday, October 13, 2003 Craven Melon
So it looks like I am gonna be a vegetarian for a little while. Kelly wants to “clean out her system of impurities”. So she decided that she was gonna only eat raw or steamed veggies and drink water and juice, for and unknown amount of time. So I offered to help her through this by joining the plan (I am such a great guy. Will somebody tell her?). She was surprised that I was willing to do this and then she grilled me about all the things she is not gonna eat. I think she was trying to see if I would cave-in. To tell the truth, no beer is gonna be harder then no beef. So anyway this started Friday the 10th, and I had plans that night. I had dinner out with Michael, Ed, and Sam before we went to see KILL BILL. I had the veggie combo, which was better than a cheeseburger but not quite as strict as what Kelly had in mind. I did turned down having a beer after the show with the guys. Earlier that day I had eaten 2 apples and a pack of Lance crackers. That was breakfast and lunch. But I still did not go home hungry. So anyway I spent the weekend at home watching movies and eating cantaloupe. What a sad sad world I have created.
