I am gonna jump on this bandwagon too. This way there might be something for you to read when you visit. Cause it's not like I am likely to post.
Monday, June 28, 2004 Honesty vs. Ignorance: GET IT ON!
After my lunchtime walk I had the urge to treat myself with a cookie and a coffee. I stopped at the fancy uptown grocery store near work and asked the bakery clerk for two cookies, one of which was for a co-work that was helping me out with some scheduling issues. I took my bag and thanked the clerk, then poured myself some coffee.
Cookies: 2 x .79 (written on the white bag)
Coffee: buck-fiddy, or there abouts
Cashier: Have you already paid for your coffee Sir?
Me: No mama.
Cashier: Ok, your total is $1.67.
(I hand her a twenty)
Me: Wait, $1.67?
Cashier: I can’t take your change, I all ready rang it up.
Me: I’m sorry I must have miss understood. I have not paid for this coffee (patting the lid of my cup as I speak)
Cashier: I know. I rang it up (handing me my change and my receipt)
I look at the receipt and she did charge me for the coffee but she rang up the cookies at 2 for .07 cents. Just then a manager walked up, think that I was mad or something I guess and asked if there was a problem.
Me: No problem I just think I was under charged, and I don’t want anybody to get in trouble over a cookie. (I show the manager the receipt)
Manager: Oh well that’s not a big deal. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, would you like a ticket for a free coffee?
Me: (confussed) Wha.. uh… no thank you. So do you want me to pay for this (holding up the items)?
Manager: No Sir, you are fine. Is there anything we can do for you?
There is not a line behind me. I am not being mean to the cashier. I think I am doing the right thing.
Me: Uh.. well, no thank you. Uh… have a nice day.
Cashier and manager: You too Sir.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004 Knights in white satin… err… polyester.
I took my lil’ brother “D” to a Charlotte Knights game last night. He was kinda moody when I picked him up from his house. He had a bad day at summer camp. We arrived during the bottom of the first. We were both wearing teal T-shirt with yellow lettering, which spelled out “Big Brothers & Big Sisters of Charlotte”. Not cool. D was wearing a black T-shirt under the teal shirt. There was only one other person wearing the teal shirt in our group of Bigs and Littles. We sat down and I turned to D and said if you want to lose the teal shirt, it’s ok. I have another shirt for me in my car. His mood improved.
During the game, we talked about the game, girls, and how crappy the announcer was. D kept saying how he would have the crowd “up and hyped”. I asked him if he wanted to check out the press box. He said yes and got really excited. We walked back to the concession area and I told him to put the teal shirt back on. I lead us to the Customer service booth and talked to lady behind the counter into giving us a tour of the press box. It was a nice tour, but the best part was, D is now convinced that I can talk my way into anywhere. Later he listed all the places we should go. After the tour he check out the gift shop and I when out to my car to change shirts. Moments later, I pulled him out of the store before he could waste his money and we went back to the game. Knights lost in the 11th inning 4 to 2.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004 The walk into work today.
You know what I like most about working uptown? It’s not the attractive women dressed like men, in an effort to hide their femininity so they can break through the glass ceiling, which of course no longer exist (wink, wink). It’s the large leathery guy dressed in flannel and a camouflage hat, standing on the sidewalk, rocking just slightly side to side and speaking softly. Nobody is near him, I am a good 15 feet away, but I am heading his way so I try to tune in. As I get closer I shift the now empty travel mug from my left to right hand. I take a drink, but of course it’s empty, and try to eavesdrop on the conversation going on now 5 feet away. He is speaking English. Not talking to me. Maybe he’s got a line straight to god. He is standing next to a church. That helps with reception, I think. The thing I like about these guys is I get to make up a store, which explains their current status. Many times I guess that the person just gave up on life at an early age cause it got hard for them (that sentence should be read in a mocking and condescending tone).
The other stories I come up with are usually more understanding and compassionate. It this case, our rocking, lost soul is asking god about his wife. She died two years ago in a car accident. He was diving and he blames himself. It was not his fault, the police report even said so. It had been raining that night, but it stop as George and Alice left the Bingo hall. It’s their one indulgence. Well that and the hour of power, of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, ever weeknight. They got in to their 1973 Ford F-150, and headed home. Neither had won at bingo that night, but they go to see their friends and socialize, winning now and then is gravy. That’s what George tells Alice when ever she doesn’t win that night. Most of the time she can be set right with a stop and the DQ. She likes the peanutbutter parfait, George has a small soft serve. Then they drive home, about 10 mile just outside of town. Heading down the 2-lane highway, they pass some kids shooting off bottle-rockets, and George gives them a honk and a wave, Alice has her hands full. The front right tire blows out, and the truck starts to skid. As George tries to slow down and keep control, Alice looks at her husband as they side of the road. The slope is not high at all but it’s steep. The truck rolls over at about 20 mph. The speed made the truck roll all the way over one time. Seconds later one of the kids is at George’s doors, asking if they’re okay. One of the other kids is on her cell-phone calling 911. George looks at his wife and she looks at him and she said your bleeding. George put his hand to his head and finds a small cut. Luckily they where both wearing their seatbelts. But Alice goes into cardiac arrest. George holds his wife and asks over and over again what’s wrong. The paramedics arrive and take them both to the hospital. Alice is pronounced dead on arrival. George might as well have died that night too.
As I pass George and cross the street, I guess he is asking God if she won at bingo last night. I wanted to tell him that she wins every night and she still get her peanutbutter parfait.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004 No chance
Last night I went to Borders to see a singer that I had seen with James and Mr & Mrs. Lowercase. She was very attractive and completely unobtainable. So of course I have to talk to her. After her performance, the Bass player (also cute and unobtainable) approached me. She thanked me for coming to see them on a rainy night. I said, “I love a rainy night”, she laughed. We talked about the tour and how she got with this singer. Then one of my old patrons from the first library job. walked up, said hi and shook my hand. He is an older fella, but joined the conversation with much to say and I was happy to have him. The Singer kinda lingered in the back ground as people had stopped coming up to her and I think that she wanted the attention (not my attention just attention). That’s when the old patron asked me, “Did you come back over here to see if any ducks needed to be saved?” I paused and smile and the two girl just looked at him funny. He followed with “Y’know cause of all the rain". The bass player jumped right in and said what are you guys talking about. I blew it off like it was nothing, and cause I had the feeling that he (old patron) was gonna take the story anyway. So he begins to tell the story of me, jumping in the drain to save the baby ducks. I filled in the gaps and just took the smile from the girls.
After that the singer was fully in the conversation. She said something to me about seeing me last night at the other Borders. I said, no I saw you guys at the Evening Muse. Singer said, I know I saw you last night. I just replied "well there are two redheads is Charlotte. And that is his Borders, this one is mine." As the girls laughed I said, that there are Zoning laws involved and it’s allot to explain. Now in the course of the conversation I figure out that both of these girls have boyfriends. So when the singer asked me what I thought of her CD I was honest. I told her that I like it, but the two songs that I really like are not even on this CD. after I named the songs, she explained that she only has six new songs and that’s not enough to go into the studio. Then she asked if there was anything else? I said yes but you don’t want to know. Her smile dropped a little and she said no what is it? I told her that I did not like the title of the CD. The conversation ended shortly after that statement.
Friday, June 04, 2004 Whore for attention
We are having a company picnic in a few weeks and I am one of the planners along with James and Juicefruit (and others). I had told James that I wanted to get an apron with the phrase "kiss the cook", as I had planed on taking my new grill. This lead to a slue of ideas, all of which were cheesy T-shirt and/or aprons, I could wear. James was gonna find me a puffy chef hat too. Well it turns out that the leader of our planning group is gonna bring her grill and there is no need for two. While I am disappointed that I don’t get to wear the apron I am certain that I can still find a shirt to wear. Or I could just wear cut-off jeans, no shirt, no shoes, and lots and lots of baby oil.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004 Those furry sons of bitches are going down!
My first batch of rat poison had been consumed so I thought that victory was at hand. I had not seen any signs of my enemy in two days. Just to make sure I purchased more poison and put it out at strategic locations.
Last night I went to the kitchen for a drink of water. Some reason I felt compelled to look under my sink. Frozen, next to the poison was the mouse. If I had the speed to do so, I would have grabbed the little fucker and snapped IT’s neck. Then strung IT up to warn the others. Maybe put IT’s little head on a little pike.
If I were a dirty, nasty person that lived like a pig I would not care. But I have been somewhat compulsive with the cleaning in my apartment, since the first day there. So what I can’t figure out is why is the IT in my house? IT has not gotten into my food. It’s not cold outside. What does the fucker want? And why won’t IT DIE!?
