Do I have time to chug a beer before we go?
Are you gonna get a turkey leg?
Where can I get my face painted?
What’s a funnel cake?
Is that like an elephant ear?
Who wants to ride the cock?
What’s a sausage face?
Do you have anything that won’t cause seizures?
How much for the "chicken-on-a-stick"?
Foot long corndog!?
Is this where you fell in the lake?
How do I get there?
Are you riding with me?
What’s a bif?
Should we get some beer?
WHO WANTS A BEER!?
So, I should shave that area?
Are you ok to drive?
Up for a shot of tequila and a pitcher of beer?
Are you sure?
Sunday morning
What time are we meeting for breakfast?
Was I wearing pants last night?
How was your trip grandmother?
Does the sling support your wrist?
Do you want that biscuit?
Wednesday, September 22, 2004 I can program my VCR to get all the shows I’m gonna miss but I can’t organize my schedule.
I have come to the conclusion that I need to hire a personal assistant. It’s not that I am important, it’s that I am incompetent. I do have a lot to keep up with now days and I seem to think that I can keep track of everything without writing anything down. The worst thing about this is that it’s not because I’m too lazy or lack the skill, I just think I don’t need to.
The prosecution presents exhibit A:
Sitting in a library parking lot this morning sipping coffee, listening to the radio and waiting for my 8:30am meeting. I begin to notice that there are no other people here for the meeting. I start to wonder if I am at the wrong branch. I make a call back to my branch and have a co-worker check my email for me. I am at the correct location and time, but the meeting is next Wednesday. And I should have been at my desk 45 minutes ago, not sitting in a parking lot.
I rush to my branch knowing that I will be a hour+ late. I knew I should have had them fix my Flux Capacitor during the last tune-up. Live and learn. So if you were driving in Charlotte around 9:00am today and saw a green streak of sexiness, that was me. Sorry if I cut you off, ran you off the road, or teased you with the sexiness.
I am excepting applications for the position of assistant at this time. Pay is…, ah fuck it. I‘ll get a day-planner.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
RING RING
(at work)
Me: Information services how can I help you?
Patron: I need an opinion. When writing a poem can you say; the look of love in their eyes, or the love in their eyes?
Me: Ma'am as a poet, it is up to you to write what ever you want.
Patron: Have you ever seen that, the look of love in their eyes? Or have you ever done that?
Me: Ma'am I have never seen the look of love in their eyes nor have I had the look of love in my eyes.
(Ok, now I am trying not to laugh cause my co-workers are looking at me funny)
Patron: Well does that sound right?
Me: Well you asked for my opinion and all I can say is: In my opinion you as a writer are free to write how ever you want, and some people will get it and others won't. That's my opinion.
Patron: Okay I understand what you're saying. Thank you.
Me: Your welcome. Is there anything else I can help you with?
